


Advanced Protocol

by masterlokisev159



Series: Angst Tony fics 2020 [3]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Steve Rogers, Avalon Protocol, Avengers Vol. 5 (2013), Betrayal, Heavy Angst, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, Illuminati, Incursions (Marvel), M/M, Not A Fix-It, Pining, Unhappy Ending, hickmanvengers, mindswipe angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24903910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterlokisev159/pseuds/masterlokisev159
Summary: The Incursions are coming. The Illuminati have surrendered and everyone has come together to take one last stand.Everyone except Tony. And Steve is tired of waiting. He wants answers.There's something the Illuminati aren't telling him.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Angst Tony fics 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1785058
Comments: 59
Kudos: 172
Collections: It will never get better, Team Angst





	Advanced Protocol

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during the Hickman Time runs out storyline.  
> NOTE: Ignores the Axis storyline (no superior Ironman and Steve is not old)
> 
> Prompt: Avalon Protocol
> 
> Please read the tags before reading. For spoilers, see end notes.
> 
> Context: The Illuminati have surrendered and a truce is about to happen. This takes place just after Namor was cast out of the Illuminati for blowing up another planet (something the other Illuminati members couldn't do). Told from Steve's PoV.

* * *

_“I remember.”_

_“Remember what?”_

_“I **remember.** ”_

* * *

Today’s the day. It’s been months and things have finally come to a head. Steve isn’t afraid to admit it anymore, even with the loss of many nights and days spent thinking.

They meet them today. The traitors.

It’s not the first time. Steve had found them before but that confrontation had led to nothing. They’d escaped, Sue had revealed her true colors, and nothing had been explained.

Tony hadn’t been there. He’d hidden from him as usual, _(he’s a coward, and a liar and he can die for all I care-)_

He’d not done well with that. Maybe that was why he hadn’t pulled his punches. Everyone did keep telling him he needed to calm down.

_(Fuck you Tony. Fuck you.)_

With a sigh, he gets up from his bed and rubs his eyes so hard they sting. Maybe if he tries hard enough, this one will be the nightmare and the flip side will be the reality. 

But there’s no reality where the Avengers are a team. Where there are no lies. Where Tony doesn’t find a new way to destroy everything all over again.

“Rogers.” 

_(I remember-)_

Steve looks up and sees Carol standing by the door. It’s not Tony this time. It’ll never be if he has any say.

“I’m coming.” He gets up and grabs his com, feeling something heavy settle on his shoulders.

“It’s time.”

* * *

  
They meet on neutral ground. Weirdly enough the Avengers had decided on the place of the incursions. The point where the worlds can be seen instead of a kinder horizon. Two points meeting, and seen from both sides.

Right now, it’s a blank space. Nothingness that feels so full. There’s history here but it’s apt.

The Avengers, led by him stand tall and organised in a line. Shield representatives are here too as well as some of the new Avengers from the other teams. Then, one by one, the Illuminati-the _traitors_ , appear before them.

It’s not all of them. Only a few at this time.

Dr. Strange, Reed and T’Challa are here. There’s a distinct absence of the others that Steve feels.

_(Now...I’m going to beat you bloody.)_

“Gentlemen.” Steve clears his throat. “You know why we’re here.”

“Of course, Captain.” Strange says with a nod and looks him in the eye. Steve immediately notices how tired the man looks. There are deep circles under his eyes, and his facial hair has grown out. So has Reed’s, he notices.

“This is a truce. You help us and we don’t beat you like you deserve.”

“Steve.” Carol murmurs beside him and he knows she’s noticed the same thing he had. The three men had flinched at the words.

“Well.” He continues, keeping his voice level. There’s no point in confrontation, not now. They have too much to do and no time. 

_(Time runs out. Everything dies-)_

“You will be granted a kinder sentence if you comply. Should we survive this by some miracle, you all will be put on some form of probation. Do you understand?”

The three glance at each other before Reed looks back at Steve. “Understood. Captain.”

There’s something cold there. Something lost. Reed looks at him like he’s staring at a corpse of a man he once knew. He looks at Steve like it haunts him. Strange looks the same.

“Is there anything you want to say to us before we start?” Steve says because at the end of it all, he’s still a Captain. He’s still leader of the Avengers. There are some things that shouldn’t change.

There’s a pause. Reed almost looks shocked. Then an ugly frown mars his face and he steps forward with his fists clenched. 

Guns clock and so he stills. But his haunted eyes dig into Steve’s very soul.

“Only that you understand that what you’ve done is-“

“Reed.” Strange stops him, stepping in front of him with a hand out.

“You asked for this Captain. This is what you wanted. Don’t come crying to us when you regret it.” Reed says quietly, but the words scream louder than any shout Steve has ever heard from him.

The Avengers place cuffs on each of the Illuminati members present. They take them in and leave for the Helicarrier, already logging thumb prints and reports.

As they begin to fly, Reed’s words continue to swirl in his mind. It plays back like a tape running constantly. 

He ignores it and doesn't give the traitors a second glance.

* * *

  
The plans for a Dyson sphere lay before Steve on the table. Reed’s lab on the Helicarrier is heavily monitored but Steve prefers to come in and find out what’s happening at least once a day. 

This is just one reason why.

“What is this?” Steve says in a dangerously quiet tone because this is a complete disaster if everything he’s allowing Reed to do is leading up to yet another weapon. 

Reed is working diligently on one of the other tables when he hears Steve’s voice. He glances over his shoulder and shrugs.

“It’s a fail safe. What else do you think?” Reed mumbles and Steve sighs and turns on his heel to face him.

“This is not a fail safe. It’s a bomb. Have you seriously learned nothing from these past few months?”

Instead of answering, Reed blinks and turns back round. He continues to tinker like nothing’s changed and yet, everything’s changed.

Reed does not like him. Or rather, he hates him. It’s obvious. Since Steve brought these people in, they’ve all been avoiding him like the plague but Reed has something more. There’s something else.

It’s so frustrating. It’s like he’s the only one that hasn’t understood. The Illuminati were wrong. These _monsters_ were wrong.

Steve storms forward and yanks Reed’s arm back so that he turns back round and faces him, rather than behaving like the coward he is. “Hey! Don’t ignore me-!” 

“Or what!? You’ll beat me? Hit me? _Murder_ me” And suddenly Reed gives him a sick smile, like he’s gone mad. “Would you murder me Captain? Would you kill me as well?”

Steve lets go of Reed like he’s been burned. It’s the fire, the sheer anger in Reed’s eyes that throws him.

“What are you talking about? I haven’t killed anyone!” He snarls back. Reed’s a complete hypocrite and a madman and Steve was wrong to even leave him alone for a second-

Reed barks out in laughter and brings a hand to his head. It comes out manic and Steve’s fingers itch for his shield. 

“You think you’re so right. You think you do no wrong. How can you fool yourself so much Captain, that you honestly don’t understand-“

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?” Steve roars, feeling like he was about to have a fist-fight coming his way. He didn’t understand; Reed was never like this. 

“What’s happened to you all?” Steve whispers, watching the man come apart. “You don’t even sound human anymore.” 

“YOU AREN’T HUMAN-“

“Reed!” A voice calls from the entrance, and both Steve and Reed snap their heads towards the newcomer. It’s Strange, again.

“Why are you here? You should be in your block.” Steve asks and to his surprise, Strange ignores him and goes straight to Reed, putting a hand on his back. They share a glance before looking at Steve again.

_Eyes like a hawks. They stare down at him from above. They’re everywhere, all around him and he can’t escape. The magic, the burn, the crackle of heat-_

_"Do it Stephen."_

“You shouldn't have come here Strange.” Steve says through grit teeth. Thankfully, Strange bows his head compliantly.

“I know Captain. But please, allow us a moment. You can stay of course, but please.” 

Strange’s eyes are red rimmed, Steve notices. The tremors in his hands are even more pronounced as they come up in a surrender.

“Please, allow us to mourn our friend. It is hard enough as it is.”

Steve’s hands clench. Vines slide over his hard and squeeze so hard it burns. The thorns dig in and feel like agony. 

The feeling of betrayal coupled with intense hatred. That’s what’s Steve feels for these people. It’s draining and poisonous but it's what they’ve done to him. One of them in particular.

_"You gave me a home-"_

“Don’t make me laugh. Please.” Steve says, feeling disgusted. “You people have no humanity. No sense. As if you feel anything for anyone anymore. You’re selfish. In fact, you’re just like-“

“If you say Stark, I will walk out of this door and never speak to you again, Rogers.” Reed hisses with revived rage and almost jumps forward to attack him. Strange stops him again but this time, he gives Steve a disappointed look.

“Captain, as I said.” Strange says and it almost sounds like begging but that’s not likely. “Have compassion. There is only so much we can take as well.”

Steve scoffs and snatches the plans for the Dyson sphere. Reed tries to speak up but Strange stops him as always.

“You won’t build this. And starting today, you’ll be monitored twenty-four seven Reed. Better start thinking of other ideas quick.” He says and leaves without another word. Outside the lab, he hands the blueprints to the head Shield lab worker and issues a simple order.

“Burn them.”

* * *

“You hypocrite! You fucking-how dare you-“

“Calm down!”

“YOU’RE A LIAR! HOW DARE YOU-!”

“Hey, what is going on!?” Carol says, suddenly barging into the meeting room. Behind her, Maria, Natasha and Sam follow closely in full gear.

Steve winces when they do. 

The meeting room is in complete disarray. The long wooden table is in two pieces, and the chairs are backed away against the wall littered with indents. In the center stands Strange, and for once, he’s the one being held back.

Beast and Blackbolt had also surrendered a month ago and hence they had been invited to this meeting after also having their rights stripped. Right now, they are the ones holding Strange by the arms and expending energy in just trying to stop him from moving.

Reed is watching silently beside T’Challa in the corner. T’Challa’s mask hides everything but Reed’s eyes are blank. 

“Explain yourselves. Now!” Carol demands and Steve steps back from Strange, creating a meters distance. If anything, that makes Strange struggle more.

“This-this liar-!”

“Strange, you need to calm down.” Reed says quietly behind him but something is missing. It’s like he’s lost in his own world of sorts. Like this is some dream to him and maybe Strange isn’t inches away from being thrown into a prison cell. Steve can’t understand, nor does he waste time trying to. So much for kinship between these men. They don’t even care about each other.

“Steve?” Carol asks, turning to him.

He takes a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale.

“They found out about the Dyson sphere.”

Realization dawns in the Avengers team and Carol tries to say something. She only manages to open and close her mouth. It’s a poor display so Steve takes over.

“It’s the last resort. It’s not to say-“

“TO HELL WITH YOU ALL!” Strange roars and the whole room flinches. “You told us-YOU TOLD US, WE WERE MONSTERS! YOU CONDEMNED US FOR EVEN DARING TO PLAN IT! AND YET TODAY YOU STAND THERE AND-“

“That’s enough!” 

“YOU RUIN US ALL! YOU DESTROY US AND PRETEND-!” Strange suddenly gasps and drops his head into his hands. 

To Steve’s complete horror, he begins to cry. 

“You...you told us we were monsters. You called us killers.” Strange croaks, and behind his hands, Steve sees tears leak down from his eyes. “You said you were better, that you could never do what we have done, and yet...” 

Strange chokes over his sobs and doesn’t continue-he _can't_. He simply weeps into his hands while Blackbolt and Beast turn from restriction to comfort. They rub his back gently and don’t say a word.

Steve can feel Carol’s eyes on him. He can feel Reed’s hopeless gaze seeing through him.

No one says anything for a moment. Not one word passes anyone’s lips. 

It’s in this strange moment that Steve is suddenly hit with the thought. That if Tony was here, he’d know what to do. He’d know what to say. The Avengers wouldn’t be frozen in place and Strange wouldn’t be so broken he couldn’t say a word. Blackbolt and Beast would not stare at him with such disappointment and T’Challa wouldn’t ignore him for months on end.

Reed wouldn’t be looking at him like that. Reed wouldn’t be staring at him like he was the monster.

“I’m sorry.” Steve says quietly, though it isn’t acknowledged. “I’m sorry that I...it’s come to this. It’s still not an option and we won’t be using it but...”

For the first time in months, T’Challa speaks. And what he says, hurts more than seeing Strange cry.

“You act as though we thought any differently too.”

_"Which one of you broke first, Tony? Who was it? **Who was it?"**_

_"You."_

* * *

Another week passes. Strange doesn’t say a word to him, clearly having decided to join T’Challa in shared silence. The Avengers continue to build while Blackbolt and Beast accompany Reed in the monitored labs. 

Today Steve is sat by his desk, pondering over documents upon documents. It gives him a headache.

His door is open for once and hence, when he hears the knocks, he knows exactly who it is and doesn’t get the chance to say no.

“Reed. Come in.” Steve says quietly, feeling that familiar stone settle in his gut. Ever since the confrontation, he has felt this heavy weight, large and unyielding in its quest to pull him down. It’s ugly and nasty and makes him cruel, and these days have given him time to think about it.

There are reminders everywhere. It only adds to the feeling.

“I see you’ve acquainted yourself with the role well.” Reed says quietly, looking around the office and anywhere other than at Steve. 

Steve sees him pause on something though. He follows his gaze and frowns.

“Why do you...?” Reed frowns at the image mounted on the wall. It was by Steve’s request and had been there for months since he became the head of Shield. It had served as a reminder of why he did his job.

After his memories had come back and he’d confronted Tony, he’d considered having the picture destroyed. He just couldn't bring himself to do it.

“That’s a memory.” Steve says quietly, keeping still as Reed walks up to it. “Nothing more.”

Reed is silent as he inspects it. He tilts his head and laughs bitterly.

“This is...unexpected.” Reed says quietly and turns to face him. Behind him, the image of Captain America and Ironman, arm-in-arm, stood in front of the Avengers team, stares back at him. 

In the image, Steve is smiling at Tony. In the image, Steve loves him.

It's a different life. One Steve will never have again. 

“It’s nothing. A pipe dream.” Steve mutters under his breath and clears his throat. “Have a seat.”

“I didn’t come here to make small talk Captain. God knows Sue hates it when I try.” Reed says, almost sadly. “I simply came here to request if you could have me on the Dyson sphere project. I will speed things up tremendously and I feel he-I could do more.”

Steve raises a brow and links his fingers together, looking at Reed carefully. Then he drops his hands and leans back in his chair. 

“Why? Why should I trust you? Allowing you to join the project would mean I have to give you codes. And even if I didn’t, you could crack the system. So why should I?”

“You shouldn’t.” Reed says bluntly, and that catches Steve off guard. “But you don’t need to worry. I won’t use it. I never could.” He says, suddenly turning to the ground as if he hoped it would swallow him whole.

“But you did. Tony told me.”

Reed’s head shoots up. His eyes are blank.

“No he didn’t.”

Steve’s eyes darken. “Yes, he did.”

“He hasn’t told me.” Reed says quietly and glances back at the photo behind him. “You believe we destroyed a planet.”

It’s not a question. It’s simply a fact.

“You did. I don’t know who pressed the button but I know one of you-“

“It wasn’t Stark. If that’s what you’re wondering.” 

Despite himself, Steve sucks in a breath. Maybe he hadn’t realized it before, but hearing that suddenly gives him a certain hope. And he hates it.

He frowns at Reed and tilts his head. “I don’t give a shit about Stark. And it doesn’t matter anyway.” 

Reed looks at him and stares. 

“I know you don’t care about him. It’s a shame really. He always had such high hopes for you. For both of you.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Well it doesn't matter I should think.” Reed says and it’s almost a breath. “I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to know you don’t care.”

Steve’s lips pull back into a snarl. It’s frustrating to be affected by Reed’s words but some things are off-limits. 

“Don’t mention him here. He hasn’t even bothered to show up for the truce. He doesn’t give a shit. He doesn’t have a place on the team anymore.”

“Have you played chess before? Captain?”

The chair is creaking under Steve’s fingers. It takes him a second to realize he’s about to break the arms. 

He lets go and lets himself calm down.

“I have.” He answers quietly.

Reed hums and begins to pace a little. “The king is the most important piece. It’s a simple rule, do not let the king fall or you lose. It doesn’t matter how many pieces there are on the board left, if the king dies, there is nothing left. I used to play with Tony.”

“...What’s this about?” 

“The queen is the most powerful piece. It can move in all directions and adapt to all situations. Alone, it is an impenetrable piece but because it’s sole purpose is to guard the king, it often makes the sacrificial play. It was Tony's favorite piece, even though he never said.”

Steve shifts in his seat. Something about the way Reed says it, feels chilling to the bone.

Reed pauses his pacing but doesn’t look at him. His eyes are carefully fixed on the wall.

“Do you know that bishops can become queen pieces? If played right, the queen can be replaced. But the loss is damaging. Tell me Captain.” Reed turns and looks him dead in the eye. “Does the loss of your Queen bother you?”

Steve knows what Reed’s insinuating. And frankly, it angers him to hear it.

Slowly, _ever so slowly,_ Steve stands up and plants his hands on his desk. His jaw clenches and his muscles grow taught.

“If this is about Stark, then the answer is simple.” Steve doesn’t break eye contact. “Anyone can be replaced. Anyone.”

 _Checkmate._ Steve thinks with a sick satisfaction that makes his stomach turn.

Reed looks at him. His eyes dart over Steve and finally, he breaks eye contact. But not before Steve sees the way his eyes glisten with pain.

“I understand. I hope you can remember that when the time comes.”

_"I remember-"_

“I’m sure I’ll be fine. Seeing as I’ve done it once before.”

Reed flinches and Steve instantly feels that weight grow. But he swallows and holds his ground.

“Of course. I understand Captain. For what it’s worth, I am sorry.”

Reed turns to leave. Steve doesn’t stop him but the question remains unanswered, so Steve does leave a few parting words.

He also isn’t afraid to admit that maybe he needs to calm down a little. If even for the sake of the incursions.

“I’ll let you in on the project. Under supervision of course.”

Reed pauses by the door. It’s not a favor, Steve knows that. But still, he thinks Reed loses some of the tension in his shoulders.

“I’m glad Captain.” He says, and leaves as quietly as he came.

* * *

Steve lies to himself. It’s a constant thing he does these days to try and forget the pain he carries. The ache of betrayal feels etched on his skin and seems impossible to shake off sometimes.

But there are some days where things almost seem...hopeful. That maybe they’ll get by. Maybe they’ll survive the incursions and this will all be a thing in the past.

Steve doubts it though. Something is definitely going on behind closed doors. The Illuminati are hiding something.

But today isn’t the day to ask about it. He knows they’re not seeing each other due to the monitoring so it’s not a concern right now. 

A question has been budding however, soft as a whisper in the dark recesses of his mind. Today he finally musters up the courage to ask because it hasn’t gone away, not since that first truce with the Illuminati.

He approaches the prime lab once again. This time Carol is there before him, staring at it, like she hopes it will give her all the answers.

“Steve. What brings you here?” She says quietly, looking over at him with folded arms. Her lips are curved in a smile but there’s no joy on her face. She looks like she’s committed a crime and Steve desperately wants to assure her. 

“I wanted to speak to Reed. There’s something I want to ask.” He says and comes to stand beside her. “You?”

Carol’s lips tremble. But her eyes are steady and she sucks in a breath. A soldier preparing for war.

“There’s something they’re not saying. I know you feel it too. I think it’s big.”

Steve raises a brow. “Any idea what it’s about?”

Carol shakes her head and sighs. “No. But they’re not heartless. Steve-“ she turns to him and her eyes are pleading. “-don’t...don’t beat them up any more. They’re already down and they were just trying to do what they could. They’re doing the best they can.” 

It’s not wrong. She’s being fair to them. Too bad she didn’t have the first hand experience of having her memories wiped by these men. She still trusted them to an extent.

“Of course.” He scoffs and tries not to let her defeated look put him off. “They’re so kind. After betraying me and the entire team. Such good people.”

“I’m just worried. They’re not themselves anymore.” She says quietly and Steve puts his hand on the panel and scans it. 

“They’re soulless Carol. Inhumane. What do you expect?” The panel beeps and he walks in. He hears her follow.

Reed and Strange are sat down over a pile of metal and sheets. They both seem to be mulling over some blueprints while a hologram of the incomplete Dyson sphere takes up the room. They don’t hear him or Carol come in.

“Gentlemen. We need to talk.”

Reed stops and turns. Strange continues to scan the prints.

“Captain?” Reed asks, looking back and forth between them.

“Where’s Stark?” Steve says. As calmly as possible.

Reed freezes. Strange doesn’t move but he stops reading.

“Reed.” Steve urges, frowning at the response. 

It’s unusual that something like this stumps two of the greatest minds of the century. Instead of just answering him clearly, they both seem to be lost in their own world.

Reed’s eyes go distant again. Not unlike how they were when Strange lost it. 

“Steve...” Carol murmurs and puts a hand on his shoulder. Right. Compassion. Forgiveness. That’s what she expects of him.

Just this once, he’ll try. If only for the sake of getting an answer.

“Tell me.” He orders and Reed seems to struggle with an answer. But he does come up with one.

“He’s gone. He can’t come.”

“Why not? Everyone of you is here except for him and Namor.”

_Is he that scared of me that he won’t come? Tony isn’t scared of anything. Even when the SHRA happened, he tried to reason with me. Why now? Why has he stopped?_

“We got rid of Namor. He wasn’t welcome after what he did.” Strange says and for the first time, Steve is glad to hear him speak. He hasn’t heard his voice in weeks.

“What did he do?” Because he’d never actually asked. 

At that, Strange does turn and look at him with empty eyes. “He blew up an entire planet, Captain Rogers. When none of us could.”

_It wasn’t Tony. It wasn’t Tony, it wasn’t Tony-_

_"Have you done the unthinkable yet?"_

“So you cast him out.” Steve says, like they haven’t just told him what he’d been hoping for. It adds to his question. “So that explains Namor but what about To-Stark?”

Strange and Reed look at each other. Finally Reed answers.

“He’s...he isn’t around anymore.” Reed says quietly. Behind him, Strange winces.

“Where is he? Can you bring him here? He has as much to answer for as you do-“

“He has already answered. He has nothing left to give.” Strange supplies and Steve somehow thinks it’s meant to be accusing. Still, he soldiers on, stepping closer to them with his hands out.

“Please. Consider it a favor to me. I want to hear what he has to say.”

A bark of laughter startles him. Reed is laughing at him again, just like before. 

But there’s something empty in it. Like his heart isn’t in it.

_Something’s wrong._

“Reed-“

“You want to hear what he has to say? Sure. Sure, of course. We will arrange it.”

Strange looks stunned at his partner. “Reed, don’t-“

“He wants to speak to Stark. We should let him. After all, Stark got a chance to with him.” Reed spits out, jerking a finger at Steve like he’s poison. “After the Registration Act. It’s only fair.”

_What?_

“What are you talking about?” Carol echoes behind him. 

Reed smiles like he’s about to cry. “You’ll get your chance Rogers. Just like he did.”

* * *

  
They get an incoming three weeks later. The Ironman armor is flying towards them at record speed. It’s the black and gold model that Steve had started to get used to but it’s not his favorite. He preferred the red and gold.

He doesn’t care. Tony’s here. He’s **back.**

The Illuminati join Steve in waiting on the landing deck. They’re clearly not as eager as Steve is, but still they come. Some of the Avengers are present too. It almost feels like a reunion.

It’s calm. Steve thinks he can hear the familiar sound of repulsers.

The upper doorway slides open to reveal a skylight in the Helicarrier. Then the Ironman armor swoops in like a bullet and lands in a crouching position with a heavy thump.

It straightens. And faces the crowd.

“Well hello, team.” He says through the armor speakers and before Steve can help it, he’s smiling.

Then his smile dims. Hatred rears it’s ugly head.

“Stark.” Steve says, feeling his lips twist into a thin line. “Glad to see you decided to show.”

He steps up to Tony and looks into the yellow eyes of the helmet. Behind them, he pictures fear.

_Good. Tony should be afraid._

“Any reason why you waited till now to show?” Steve snarls, and Tony doesn’t move. He doesn’t even respond.

“Well?”

“Sorry. Sometimes it-I-glitch. And about earlier, I didn’t think it was right. You know, things left dead and buried and all that.”

Behind Steve, there’s a sharp intake of breath. And then there are whispers.

“You will be on the same schedule as the rest of your men. Your little group of traitors. I don’t expect to see you step even an inch out of line.”

“Of course Captain.”

Steve’s fists clench. “And you won’t even think about speaking to any of them alone.”

“No problem.”

His fingers dig into his palm. Hard.

“Take off the armor.”

Reed calls out his name, but he ignores it. His eyes are fixed on the man in front of him.

“Take it off.” He repeats. “I want to see the look in your eyes. I want you to look me in the eye and tell me exactly what you were thinking." 

He knows he’s being cruel. He knows it’s selfish. But a part of him, a desperate part wants answers. Why did Tony hide the incursions from him? Why did Tony think he was so dispensable, so unnecessary, that he just cast him away like used trash? Why didn’t he tell him-

“Take it off-“

“No can do Captain.” Tony says in the same tone and it almost baffles Steve how he can be so blaze about something so important. “I’d prefer to keep it on, thanks.”

Then he tilts his head and nods. “Hi team. Reed, hi.”

Reed doesn’t say a word. When Steve turns, he sees his face is pale as a sheet. Bone-white and horrified.

“Go inside with Maria. She’ll have you fitted with cuffs and go through your curfew.”

* * *

It’s itching at him. Something’s wrong. Something’s toying with him. Nothing is right anymore.

“Are you toying with me!?” Steve shouts because apparently Tony is adamant on ignoring him, even behind closed doors.

Tony was alone in the lab when Steve walked in. And he’d had every intention of trying to be civil and discuss their issues, or at least start to, until-

Tony was still in the armor, and he hadn’t even bothered to come and talk to him. It had been almost two weeks.

Steve was Captain America. Nowhere did that say patient.

“You haven’t even spoken to me! Not once!”

The suit turns and looks at him. As is the norm these days, it seems completely unaffected by Steve and it’s _bullshit_. Steve knows fully well that Tony is swimming in guilt-hell, he’s probably scared too meet Steve’s eyes. It shouldn’t surprise him. 

“Captain. I didn’t think there was anything left to talk about.” And there it is again. The speakers mask Tony’s voice well but Steve thinks he can hear something more.  
Maybe guilt. _Grief?_

He hopes so. Maybe he’s just imagining it now and that wouldn't surprise him with how exhausted he feels.

He folds his arms and glares at the armor. “We have things to discuss. Don’t bullshit me.”

“There’s nothing to discuss.”

“When are you gonna take off the armor and face me?”

“Hopefully never.” 

Steve scoffs at that. “Stop it. You need to come out of there and explain yourself.”

“Fine.” Tony says without moving a muscle. “The incursions began. We disagreed. I mind-swiped you. You remembered. The end.” And he turns and picks up a wrench.

Steve’s mouth falls open. The sheer- _the nerve-_

“That’s a massive oversimplification, don’t you think!?” Steve growls. How dare Tony mock him!?

_Was it that easy for him to throw me away? How long have I played the fool here?_

“Oh, and you also beat me. In case you forgot. But I forgive you.” Tony says, and it almost sounds cheery. They could be talking about the weather for all Tony cares.

“...What is wrong with you?” Steve says, feeling stunned. Is this how far Tony is from reality now? Has he lost his mind? 

_Maybe he’s broken too. Like Strange and Reed-_

“Talk to me Tony. Please.” He finally says and he hates himself for begging but this isn’t right. They’ll never move past this if Tony doesn’t respond. It takes two to tango after all and Tony had been...

Tony had been important to him. And he’d thought it was mutual. 

“Don’t worry. It won’t be long now. I forgive you Cap. That’s all I want to say.”

Livid, Steve turns on his heel and leaves, slamming the door shut behind him. He doesn’t bother to turn and see if Tony notices.

* * *

They can’t stop the next incursion. They can’t. It’s not enough. There's plan B. There is no plan A.

Steve closes his eyes and recites a prayer in his head. He marvels at just how wrong he'd been. At just how different he was after all.

His eyes fall on the armor standing behind him. Hidden among the crowd of Shield members, Avengers and Illuminati, it’s there, waiting and watching silently. 

Tony, in his armor is looking at the screen too, just like everyone else. Steve pictures fear and guilt in Tony’s eyes. He’s seen it before after all, with the SHRA and their recent confrontation.

He thinks of those blue eyes swimming in fear. The light dying out and disappearing.

He turns back to the screen and issues the order.

“Do it.”

Millions die. He thinks perhaps Tony had been right after all.

* * *

They eventually come up with a solution. An adaptation of the Dyson Sphere, coupled with a combination of the best adjustments from the best minds in the world and the best scientists at Shield. Together they come up with a solution and win. Together they Avenge like they always do. 

Steve can’t sleep at night anymore. His dreams haunt him. He feels so alone.

There is a party being thrown tomorrow. Odd since Steve can’t imagine being happy right now. But the younger members of the Avengers want to throw it in celebration of managing to end it all, and the older members feel it’ll boost morale. But that’s not all.

Carol had approached him earlier. Along with Natasha, Sam and Maria.

They’d suggested a probation for the Illuminati members. Avengers positions but under strict measures. Curfew and monitoring. But avenging nonetheless.

It’s been months. Steve can’t decide. He can’t sleep. He can’t do anything.

The Helicarrier is silent. Slowly, Steve gets out of bed and puts his shoes on. He leaves his quarters and begins to walk.

Back when he had first woken from the ice, Tony had welcomed him with open arms and given him a chance. He’d done everything to make him feel happy and alive. And he’d been there, as more than a friend.

Steve loved him. He always has. That’s why the mind-swipe and the lying had hurt so much.

Steve thinks it’s better now. Perhaps he can finally move on.

“Captain? What brings you here?” 

Steve’s accidentally wandered into the south cafeteria. It’s empty and dark, with only one light hanging above a small steel table. Reed sits there on a seat with his arms in his lap and tired eyes. Steve steps forward and joins him.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Reed hums his agreement and looks away. It’s dark outside, as seen through the skylights. Space is vast and Steve suddenly feels so small. 

“The price was high, wasn’t it?” Reed broke the silence, following his gaze to the glass. Right now, Steve almost feels like he has a friend.

“It was.” Steve says with a sigh. “I don’t think I’ll ever be free of it.”

“It’s never easy. But it’s these decisions that separate you from the rest. It makes you a braver man.”

“But not better.”

“No.” Reed acknowledges honestly and somehow, Steve appreciates it.

“Tony would’ve said you were better.” Reed adds and Steve frowns at the wording.

“What do you mean?”

“To him you’ll always be better.” Reed says and pauses, turning to look at Steve with a sad gaze.

“You should say your goodbyes. You don’t have much time left.” 

The words send a shiver down Steve’s spine and he feels something lurking. That sinking feeling returns.

“What do you mean?”

“Tony won’t be here for much longer. If you have anything you wish to say, now is the time.” Reed says and stands up, pushing his chair out with a soft screech. When he looks back at Steve, it’s full of pity and regret.

“Don’t lose this chance. He wouldn’t want you to have any regrets.”

Fear begins to build up in Steve’s mind. In all these months, he’s never heard Reed talk like this.

“Reed? What are you not telling me?” But Reed ignores him and turns to leave. Feeling his anxiety build, Steve jumps from his seat and calls out.

“Reed!”

Just before Reed leaves, he stops by the door. When he speaks, his voice is cool and indifferent, and Steve knows suddenly, that this will be the last time they speak.

“I know about Carol’s offer. I will be refusing. I never wish to be an Avenger or team member of any sort ever again. Goodbye Captain. I hope you can find some solace after all of this is done. It’s what Tony would have wanted.”

* * *

It’s meant to be a celebration. It’s meant to be a good thing.

Steve is too anxious. He can’t even stop to enjoy it for ten minutes because his mind is all over the place.

It’s too much. He keeps getting distracted from all the younger Avengers and it's disappointing them. Carol finally steps in and pulls him aside.

“Steve, what is wrong with you?” She asks and he shakes his head. His eyes search the room once again.

“Nothing. I-have you seen Tony?” He asks desperately and sees the realization dawn in her eyes.

“I don’t know. He’s here somewhere-Steve, where are you-!?”

“I need to find him.” He says urgently and disappears into the crowd. There are too many people and too many distractions. They’re blocking him and it shouldn’t be this hard to find Tony, it has never been this hard-

“Steve.” 

Steve freezes. He turns slowly on his feet and stops.

Tony is there, concealed in his black and gold suit as always. It’s clean and polished and gleams in the light. The golden-yellow eyes of the helmet meet him and suddenly he can’t help but let out a sigh of relief.

“Shellhead.” He breathes. “I thought you had left.”

“No. Not yet.” Tony says lightly, tilting his head in that fond way he does. Steve’s heart eases a little at the sight and relaxes even more when Tony carries on.

“I wanted to ask if I could be join the team. Carol said there was an offer on probation-“

“Done. Consider it done.” Steve says warmly and gives Tony a hopeful smile. He’s hopeful and maybe...

Tony doesn’t say anything else. 

“Tony?” Steve laughs nervously. “Shellhead. I know it’s a bad time but maybe...maybe we could talk?”

He doesn’t say a word. There’s nothing from him, not even a shift. 

“Tony? Look, I want to start over. Go back to the way we were before.”

He’s met with silence. He can’t even tell if Tony is listening.

Suddenly the armor's lights seem to dim. Tony’s head tilts down, just a fraction.

Sweat begins to build down the base of Steve’s spine. 

_"Something’s wrong-"_

“Tony, open the armor.” He commands and suddenly the room has gone quiet. Everyone’s eyes are turned towards them.

Steve doesn’t blink. He can’t because Tony’s not responding.

“Tony!”

_"I’m not half as good at– at anything as I am when I’m doing it next to you. And that’s the truth._

Carol and the others begin to come up behind the armor. There’s a growing mumble but it’s distant. Steve’s ears are roaring and his head is spinning.

A hand slips onto his shoulder. He knows it’s Reed’s.

_“It’s what Tony would have wanted.”_

“Armor override Steve Rogers, Code three-four, four-four, five-four, six-four.” 

“Armor server online.” And the air leaves Steve’s lungs. A huge weight lifts off. 

“Armor order, Disassemble.” He says and somehow, the whole armor starts to come away in a pile.

Tony is left standing. He’s wearing the same clothes as the last time Steve saw him.

_No-_

There’s no recognition in Tony’s eyes. There’s nothing there at all.

The voices turn into gasps of horror. He thinks he hears someone scream. 

Tony’s body falls forward. It’s only by sheer instinct, that Steve manages to catch him. 

_He’s cold. He’s so cold._

_His hair is matted,_ Steve notes. The faint smell of iron hits his nose. Feeling his body start to shake, he looks down at the body in his arms.

Tony’s eyes are open but lifeless. His hair is covered in dried blood, almost as if someone had smashed his head in. His face is ice-white, but there’s dried blood that draws a clear line down his face from the head injury. It’s almost like someone took a paintbrush and painted a thick stripe down his cheek.

His body is limp in Steve’s arms. His lips are parted like he had something to say but never got to finish.

There’s an odd sound coming from somewhere. Someone’s wheezing. Distantly he realizes it’s coming from him and he falls to his knees, cradling the body to his chest.

Tony’s arms don’t hug him back. They don’t pat him on the shoulder as he smiles. They fall to the floor, cold and forgotten.

_No no no no no-_

“I’m sorry.” Steve gasps, feeling the air leave his body. He heaves and feels like he’s being ripped apart. “I-I’m sorry-“

“Get him away-!”

“Oh god, oh my god-“

“What the fuck happened-fuck-!”

Sounds are starting to fade. All Steve can think about is the man _(the body)_ in his arms. Shakily, he holds Tony with one arm and traces the blood on his cheek. He’s so _cold._

“Tony? Don’t do this to me, I’m sorry okay?” Steve begs and tears stream down his face as he chokes. “I’m s-sorry.”

_“He’s gone. He can’t come.”_

“Get him out of here, he’s hyperventilating-!”

“Steve? Steve. I need you to look at me-“

_“You said you were better, that you could never do what we have done, and yet...”_

_And yet..._

They knew, Steve thinks, as he feels hands pull him away. He knows Reed is watching. He knows they all are.

They knew. They just didn’t want to say.

* * *

Later, when he wakes up, they tell him. They tell him how Tony created this thing. He called it the Avalon Protocol. Strange explains it simply.

“He told us. It was designed with one goal in mind.”

Steve doesn’t say anything. He feels too lost. Too empty. But he listens.

“The armor would keep running for as long is the power held, not opening for any command except one. Perhaps Tony created the time-limit, we’re unsure. But we know he chose it’s purpose for one reason.”

“Which was?” Steve asks dully because what reason could Tony have to do this to him? Was it worth it? Was it even worth it?

_It wasn’t. It wasn’t worth it._

Strange looks at him and swallows and Steve resists the urge to close his eyes and never wake up. It’s like being in the ice all over again.

“Once he lost all vital signs, the armor would register and take over. The protocol would be activated and serve one purpose.”

“What was it?”

“To keep you safe.” Strange says and Steve’s didn’t think the world could be any more cruel until now.

“He loved me didn’t he?” Steve says tiredly, feeling numb. He needs to get used to it. This is how it’s gonna be now.

“...I think so. He always did talk about you.” Strange says and finally gets up to leave. Another goodbye. Another loss. 

Steve has one last question. He is an Avenger after all.

“How did he die?” Steve says through grit teeth and red eyes. His fists clench in the sheets. Maybe he can still do something right after all. “Who killed him?”

Strange eyes him carefully. Steve meets his gaze and waits.

He isn’t ready.

“You did, Captain. You said you would beat him bloody. And you did.”

Steve’s whole world collapses. There’s nothing left to save.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: The Illuminati members join the Avengers to try and stop the Incursions. They do this as they want to save the world but also partly because it was Tony's dying wish. Reed is haunted by the knowledge that Steve killed Tony and it is implied that he killed him when he beat Tony after remembering the mind-swipe. Steve has no idea, but Tony has been dead for weeks and the Illuminati know and warn him subtly.  
> Steve blames them constantly and can’t forgive Tony since he thinks Tony successfully managed to destroy a planet. Eventually Steve is the one who has to destroy a planet.  
> As a result, Steve finally finds it in his heart to forgive Tony but then he discovers the truth. Tony has been dead in the armor for months. And it's all his fault.
> 
> PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! 
> 
> I have never written angst this heavy before so I would love to hear what you think :) Thank you and hope you are safe!!


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